Obituary of Mary E. Hayes

Mary E. Hayes (nee Valentino) passed away peacefully on January 19, 2026, at the age of 104. A longtime resident of Astoria, Queens, Mary most recently lived in Chatham, where she was lovingly cared for by her family.

Mary was born on October 31, 1921, in Brooklyn, New York, to the late Vincenzo and Viola Valentino. She was the eldest of three siblings and carried that role with strength, warmth, and responsibility throughout her life.

Mary met her beloved husband, Joseph Hayes, while they were both working for one of the major airlines at LaGuardia Airport. After Joseph returned home from proudly serving his country during World War II, the couple married in 1946 and settled in Astoria, Queens, where they raised their family. Joseph later became a sergeant with the New York City Police Department, a title which Mary was very proud of.

Before dedicating herself fully to raising her three sons, Mary worked as a secretary for a nursing school and later as a teletypist for TWA. Following her husband’s passing at the age of 46, Mary returned to work with characteristic resilience, becoming a waitress at Ricardo’s in Astoria and catering events on Long Island on weekends. She was deeply loved by the restaurant’s patrons and staff alike, known for her warm personality, sharp wit, and ability to brighten any room she entered. A wonderful conversationalist, Mary had a way of making everyone feel seen and valued.

In 2023, Mary moved to Chatham to be closer to her son Stephen, who became her devoted caregiver. Fiercely independent and mentally sharp to the end, Mary was famous for her remarkable memory; she never forgot a birthday, anniversary, or appointment, even if she was told only once.

Mary was a passionate baseball fan, especially of the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers. She was a proud Italian cook, celebrated for her meatballs and ziti, recipes that became family treasures. Above all, Mary was a devoted and loving mother, whose greatest joy was her family.

In addition to her parents, Mary was preceded in death by her beloved husband Joseph Hayes and her brother Alfonse Valentino.

She is survived by her three cherished sons Joseph Hayes and his wife Gail, Stephen Hayes, and James Hayes and his wife Rosalind; her sister Angelina Valentino; her grandchildren Kevin, Caitlin, and Elise; her great-grandchildren Finnegan, Reilly, Lillian, Lydia, and Georgia; and many nieces, nephews, and dear friends.

Services will be held privately for the family.

Mary will be remembered for her warmth, independence, sharp mind, generous heart, and the love she gave so freely to her family and all who were fortunate enough to know her.

In lieu of flowers, charitable contributions may be made in Mary’s memory to Catholic Charities USA 2050 Ballenger Ave, Suite 400, Alexandria, VA 22314.